today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
how does that bad decision feel?
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