Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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