We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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