All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
