I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
