Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
