I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
