i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
