His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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