Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I party with great urgency now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
