Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
