I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
These tits shall not be calmed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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