I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize