Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
