My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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