summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
ok first of all what the fuck
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
