What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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