ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
