Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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