He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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