I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
