dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
