A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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