It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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