I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
