I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
