Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
