omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
