then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
