I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
