Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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