I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
