The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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