hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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