and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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