Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
