dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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