Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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