She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
