We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
