it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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