I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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