Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize