We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
