Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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