first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All the doctor said was why
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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