ugly people sure do ruin things
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
