I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
