Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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