awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
