if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
