She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize