you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
the liver wants what the liver wants
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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