Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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