So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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