Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize