i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
