Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
