Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
