I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
